NEW CAR!!!!

This is what my car looks like, but my car is a royal blue!!! I must admit that I'm having so much fun driving around, despite the paranoia!!!! It is the newest car I have ever owned, so it's as good as new to me. The dogs seem to like it and I'm trying to see how long I can keep it spotless inside! I am really grateful to have a good job, to have lost so much weight, and to be having some fun in my life. Life is good now. . . I don't know why God is being so good to me but I'm pretty happy about it.

Hmmm . . . Times have changed

I went to Karl Malone Toyota today just to look at cars. Mine has had so many problems and it has 92000 miles on it (FORD), so I can't take it on road trips. It overheats if I'm not careful and I have to keep the heat on full blast to avoid that. So . . .the salesman was great and he flirted quite a bit. He showed me a Honda Civic with 38,000 miles on it and my heart sank. I looked at the car and was certain I wouldn't fit in it. He asked what was wrong with it and I told him I had lost 172 pounds this year and am worried that I'm still too big for that car. He laughed at me and said, "Are you shi**ng me? You are one fine girl. You think you're still fat? Hell no." We both started laughing and forced me to sit in the car. The car had so much room in it, it was crazy!! THe last time I tried to sit in a Civic, I wouldn't fit even with the seat all the way back. I had to move the seat way up in order to reach the steering wheel of this one!! He then proceeded to ask me out. It was kind of fun and he was handsome!! I'm also considering a Scion. It has 50,000 on it but it is under warranty until 100,000 miles. Anyone have any car buying advice??? They are both manual transmissions, which is fine. The Scion feels more like an SUV, which I like They also said they could add a sun roof to either one!! I'm so tempted!! The price is also right. I don't want to pay more than $200 a month and both would work.

Before and one year later side view!!

Before and one year later!!

I DID IT!!!!

I am FINALLY under 200 pounds for the first time in about 15 years!!! I'm so excited about it. I met with the surgeon today and the scale showed I had lost 172 pounds!! My goal was to be under 200 by last Sunday, but four days later isn't that bad!! I"LL TAKE IT!! So . . . 48 pounds to go!! Life is pretty good now. Just dating people to see who is out there in that sea of old men faces!! Guys are a challenge . . . I'm a bit surprised by that actually!!

It's absolutely awe inspiring!!!

Today, the first African American became our 44th President of the United States. I watched it after I returned home from work, before I went out. I sat there with tears streaming down my face the entire time. I could not help but feel a sense of pride that my country finally got it together enough to elect someone as president, despite race. It's proof that in America, an American can accomplish anything. The past 12 months have been a year of change for me. A year of empowerment and a year of learning that I matter. We elected a man who believes in the value of the individual. . . the power of the individual . . .and for once, I also believe in myself. His timing is amazing to me. No more excuses everyone . . . we finally have a chance to rebuild our country. A chance to make a difference and as Barack has reminded us . . . we are the change. If we want it, we can make it happen. It starts on a small scale by volunteering and taking responsibility for those around us. Let's take care of each other . . . and make four better years! I'm proud to be American and proud to be a Democrat. Thanks grandpa for your influence.

Official One Year Photo

Look at the collar bones!!

Anniversary

Sunday was my one year anniversary after gastric bypass surgery. I have lost 170 pounds and 36 inches from my waist in just a year! I can't believe it. All of a sudden I have new problems to deal with like dating, etc, that I haven't had in an eternity. I don't wait for life to end anymore. Instead, I find myself thinking of all the things I want to do and planning them!! My relationship with food is entirely different. It's truly a miracle; however, I realize that every day is a series of choices. At any time I could start making horrible choices again and am vigilant. Nothing is going to stop me now. This year I will hit goal weight and the sky's the limit!! No settling for anything anymore. I deserve to be happy and that's what I'll be. I didn't get a second chance on life to waste it. I can't believe how different life is.

They didn't recognize me!!!

My CEO encourages employees to put together a goal post for the year of all their goals. I had a good time with mine . . . there is a parachuting man (skydiving), a plastic water bottle to remind me to drink water, footprints along the bottom to remind me that I want to be able to run a mile, and a few other things (including belly dance lessons). One thing is a before picture of me. Two actually. One from the front and one from the side. Underneath in glitter letters it says "NEVER AGAIN" to remind me to never look like that again (obviously). People look at the poster and comment on how cool it is, but they don't realize that super morbidly obese girl in the photo is actually ME. . . just one year ago. When I explain that it is indeed me. . . they look at me in shock and many say I look so different they never would have recognized me. It is indeed the greatest compliment I get these days. It is also encouraging to me that my coworker told me I was an inspiration and she knew she could get to goal weight because I'm there as an example. Never in my life do I recall anyone telling me I was an example (well, not a good one). It feels so good that it makes me kind of teary-eyed. It's also interesting to me that when you feel better about yourself it's easier to make better choices. This seems to be because I believe I have worth and that it's okay to have higher expectations in life than just filling up space. I'm willing to wait for the right guy to come along instead of rushing into something with just anyone because I know that I can be alone and happy for now. That being alone is so much better than being with the wrong person. Again, thank you to my grandparents. Two pounds to go and I will be under 200 pounds for the first time in as long as I can remember. A new life. A future.

My aunt saved the day!! Thanks, Sharon!!

So. . . I am now in charge of our Slim Down for Summer event at work. I have no idea what has and hasn't been done on it and found myself scrambling for someone to come weigh and measure all the participants by Thursday!! I called my aunt (who is a nurse) and she is going to come to the office Thursday to save the day!!! WAHOO!! Made me look so good to have someone lined up and ready to go on the first day!! Thanks again, Sharon. I requested your check today and it will be ready by Thursday morning!!!

Impressing the CEO

So tonight I went to a birthday party at Chili's for my CEO's husband. It was kind of cool that she even invited me so I went. It was a big group and a lot of fun!! Tonight, I was sitting here and realized that I'm wearing two different earrings!! One is a brown dangly earring that matched my outfit and the other is a stud. LOL. So. . . what an impression it made, I'm sure!! At least my hair was down, so maybe nobody noticed. She knows that when I first started working there I mentioned to someone that her brother was handsome (before I knew he was her brother, of course). Now. . . well, of course he was there tonight and it's a little awkward. She has such a nice family and it was so great to see her in action. I truly wish I could be more like her. She is so smart, confident, and just really freaking brilliant. One of those people who has so much energy that you want to be around them in hopes that it will rub off!! Anyway, the earring thing was hilarious. They let her last main assistant go on Friday and I will be taking some of her duties. I have so much to do right now and am hoping all the things that are due next week can get done!! I'm going to be sad not to have as much time to help the HR director with her work, but you never know what will happen in the future. BTW. . . I DID go to the gym after the party tonight!!! :)

Seriously>>>No WAY!! BRING IT ON!!

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed this week!! I had to break up with a nice guy, am overwhelmed at work, and am not sure when I'm goign to have time to workout as much as I want. Today . . . it got even more overwhelming. They fired one of the CEO's executive assistants and I have inherited many of her job duties on top of the ones I already have. I have worked 55 hours this week alone!! I'm excited to be trusted with the CEO's work, because she is picky about who has access, etc; however, I'm a little concerned that it will prove to be too much to do on top of my workout schedule and personal goals. I guess I just can do my best and hope it is good enough. I just don't want my GPA to drop. So. . . just venting a bit here, but the scale did drop a pound. . . now I've lost 168 pounds!!

Too much!!

I think working out four hours a day is going to be impossible to keep up for a longer period of time. I really want to win that competition at work, but my body can't handle it on this few calories!! I have found it almost impossible to get out of bed in the mornings since I increased the work outs. I usually don't have that much trouble waking up, but I am SO exhausted!! I'm also kind of stressed out. Tuesday was a bit emotional for me and I have so many work projects that are due Monday that I will have to work Saturday. I went to Ephraim today with the HR director to present the training program I put together. I got to present the FMLA portion and I was so impressed with myself that it just felt natural. I had no anxiety about presenting once the time came. It was very fun but I didn't get home until 7!!! I'm not exercising tonight!! Anyway. . . just wanted to get that off my chest. I just need to focus on school this weekend and get myself caught up after the distractions. AAARGH. Too much too soon is too much to deal with!! That was fun to write!! LOL

Ephraim

Since I started my new job in November, I have been putting together a training program for new supervisors and have been writing new policies. I do love it and today I got to watch the HR director actually give my presentation for the first time!! I was so excited and so proud of myself for doing a good job. THere are some things that need to be tweaked, but really . . . I worked so hard and it looks good!! Tomorrow I will go with the HR director to Ephraim and will teach the FMLA portion to the supervisors at our Ephraim office. I'm so excited to watch it again. She is teaching me so much and I just love it!! I also like my other position too, so it will be interesting to see how that works out!

Image issues

I have lost weight so quickly that my mind just can't seem to process the differences. I work with three great women who are all just slightly overweight. In fact, I told them today that if I looked like them, I would be done losing weight. It turns out that I probably weigh the same as one. They look so normal that it was surprising to me that I might actually look fairly normal now. In my head, I still feel sometimes like I weigh 370 pounds. The reality is that I'm not. I heard this might be an issue, but I never imagined how much it would play in my in mind. we started an exercise/weight loss/and/or inch loss competition at work yesterday. I got up at 3:30 to work out for two hours before work. I also just worked out again briefly. Tomorrow I plan to do the same and work out for two hours after work as well!! I'm going to win even if it kills me. For once. . . I don't want to be the worst physically fit person!! I'm going to be competition for someone!! WOW. . . what a difference 11.5 months makes.

Never understimate a class!!!

So. . . most of you know that I'm in school. This class is an image editing class and we are using Photoshop as our program. I have never used this or any other image editing program and I have no idea what I'm doing!!! The first assignment was a joke for me and it was horrible. So. . . I already have an A- in the class!!! Those of you who know me well know that an A- is an F to me. I know I can bring it up. I've been distracted lately and haven't been practicing with Photoshop so I can learn what I am doing. I will be changing that and focusing more on school. Can you believe though that I got an A- in a class that teaches a program most people learn fine on their own? I'm technologically challenged for sure!!! :)

I realized I put this picture on Facebook, but not on the blog!!! Here you go. BTW. . the jeans I am wearing in the picture are now too big!!

Comment about background

If you're reading this from Facebook you won't know what I'm talking about. You will have to go to www.imcaesarsmom.blogspot.com to see. Anyway. . . I'm rebelling against the cold. Last year, it didn't bother me; however, this year I seem to be sans the padding I used to have. I can hardly stand it!!! I'm always freezing so I picked this theme to help me think of warmer times!!!

Hope . . the Cure for Despair

I know. . . it's religious, but the message is non-denominational!! It really inspired me (the actual quote), so I put it in my congregation's newsletter for January. This is a difficult time for many who await the New Year believing that somehow, the change of the calendar will make everything perfect. The truth is, sometimes difficult challenges do not follow our timelines; however, HOW we deal with things has more of an impact on our lives than WHAT is happening. Many sink into a form of despair after January 1st because they focus only on what is . . . not what is to become. A little hope can work miracles in your life and in the lives of others. As stated by President Uchtdorf, “The adversary uses despair to bind hearts and minds in suffocating darkness. Despair drains from us all that is vibrant and joyful and leaves behind the empty remains of what life was meant to be. Despair kills ambition, advances sickness, pollutes the soul, and deadens the heart. Despair can seem like a staircase that leads only forever downward. “Hope, on the other hand, is like the beam of sunlight rising up and above the horizon of our present circumstances. It pierces the darkness with a brilliant dawn. It encourages and inspires us to place our trust in the loving care of an eternal Heavenly Father, who has prepared a way for those who seek for eternal truth in a world of relativism, confusion, and of fear” (Ensign, Nov 2008, P. 22). Hope is contagious . . . it has a power of its own and truly spreads like “a brilliant dawn” with a healing power second to none other. When circumstances are beyond our control, the mustering of hope is something we can control. May 2009 be a year full of Hope . . . and Peace.