Grateful

I was thinking today, which is always dangerous. . . I was thinking about how much my life has changed since January. I took Trax and a bus to work this morning and I haven't done that since the week before surgery. I remember taking up the whole aisle in the train and people having to move around me. I also used to take up both seats on the train. . . now I don't. I would fill up the whole seat and my stomach was a few inches away from the back of the seat in front of me. Now. . . I look almost like everyone else when I sit down. Even the creepy guys on the train stare at me now, which is a new thing. I was told to get used to it because the smaller I get, the creepier they become. It's a strange feeling to HAVE to plan a future now. I honestly didn't think I would live long enough to have one. I don't think I wanted to live long the way I was. I went from wanting to hide from life to feeling like I want to be part of the world again. It's such a blessing that I can't believe God would love me enough to make it happen. That my grandparents would love me and care enough about my future to help me have this surgery is amazing. They don't have that kind of money to just give away. It helps remind me that I have worth. . . some day I hope to discover what my future holds. I'm hoping for a great guy. LOLOL.